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I'm so mad with Lucinda. This is such a betrayal. She's almost all outof chances."Don't do this......Anthony," Lucinda calls after me. She says my namelike it's so difficult to say. "Prove to me you're still the person Igrew up with."I only half turn because I can't hide my tears anymore. And I will notlet her see them under any circumstances. Does she really believe I canprove that? Or is she just trying to manipulate me?"I can't," is my conclusion. "Because apparently I'm not." My voice issteady, in spite of my emotion, and my tears remain hidden. "As far asyou're concerned at least. You've erased all memory of me and replacedwith a new version. A duplicate. And you seem to like that one so muchbetter."I pause hoping she'll refute my claim. Or at least offer some sort ofconcession. She is silent. "I'm the real Anthony. And I will be me again. One way or the other.And when I am I will come back. I hope that when I do you'll change yourmind. Because it will be our very last chance."I. Why? I really don't know to be totally honest with you but mutual masturbation had been my thing back then. That satisfied me back then because I never knew how really fantastic having a hard cock inside me would make me feel. I was a little reluctant to go all the way with Randy too but I don't regret surrendering to him in the end the least little bit. Randy had taken me back to his dorm room after the mixer ended. He fixed us a couple of drinks, put a CD in the player and we started to dance. Looking back on that night now I was sort of like that girl in the Country and Western song by Joe Nichols, Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off. Slowly as we sipped our drinks and danced, all my clothes fell off. By the time he eased me down on his bed, I was ready and eager to surrender the last vestige of my virginity to Randy. Something else happened to me that night too. I'm not exactly sure what Randy did to me but I now almost any erotic stimulus turns me on in a flash. Playing with.
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